“And they lived happily ever after.”

I don’t know about you but some of my happiest times have been after I have vanquished a foe – either in real life or in my beliefs; when I finally defined the lines of my personal kingdom and shoved someone or some thought into the moat. But here’s the rub. All those nefarious creatures which engage you in thought, dream or reality all reside within the walls of your kingdom. They infiltrated before you knew you were royal. Before you discovered the only one who can defend your walls is your Self.

Your Personal Kingdom

And who are they? They are your parents beliefs about themselves as seen through you. They are the cultural and religious mores and doctrines of your time. They are the collective beliefs of nation or global village. And who are you? You are the spark from the brilliant flame of all that has ever been created and all that may ever be created. Your preciousness is not debatable. Your potential as the hands, eyes, voice of creation is limitless. Your value as a human being is beyond all imagined riches.

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It’s not polite to say you are truly happy.

I was raised to be ‘good’. Good meant humble, passive, helpful, respectful, and self effacing. I grew up ‘good’ very well. So well, in fact, that Life scared me to death. Anyone older, richer, more educated, socially superior or just louder was awarded my abeyance and deference. Life in our turbulent family constellation was fraught with its dramas and tragedies like manic depression and suicide and trussed up in the bonds of God’s will. So God being the ultimate authority was good and scary and for sure ruled a world of sadness and uncertainty. Suffering was inevitable and enduring suffering without complaint was nobility itself.

But like every good Christian (religion is interchangeable), I hoisted my burden – my imperfect self – and set out to make that truth true. I looked for the broken people who I could relate to. We shared a distrust of the world and the acceptance of a dysfunctional universe. It took me a few decades to discover that ‘thoughts become things’ in the words of Mike Dooley and I found exactly what I was looking for. Suffering. This ‘proof’ fed my belief in my own unworthiness and even when – or especially when – Read more…

The Elegance of Living Peace and Beauty

When I was a teenager, there was an army greatcoat that hung on a hook behind the heavy wooden door in the cottage. On rainy days I would shrug into it, wrap it ’round me and cinch the wide belt. It was khaki coloured with epaulettes. A real ‘trench’ coat from the war when my dad was ‘overseas’. It was full of deep pockets and folds and unexpected inner stashes. I would grab his old wide brimmed fedora, stained and much loved and pull it down over my eyes. Slipping into black rubber boots with the red trim around the top and toe, I would leave the cocoon of the fire warmed log cabin and slam the door behind me. Read more…