Eden and I

Do you know the way back to peace, beauty, health, and happiness?

Today is Holy Thursday or Maundy Thursday which is the day before Good Friday when Jesus made the symbolic gesture of washing the feet of his disciples. Tomorrow commemorates the day that He was arrested, tried and nailed to the cross. On Sunday – millions around the world will celebrate the ascension. When I ‘googled’ Maundy Thursday there was a litany (forgive the pun) on which Christian denomination named the day, what. Where the root derived through the cultural shifts of history and which nation said it first – and for goodness sake, what calendar you might be following. And here you go – getting distracted by the detail.

I got a card yesterday from the local church with a very beautiful drawing of Jesus. His eyes are deep and lovely and kindness itself. His left hand is raised gently in front of his heart in the ‘mudra’ of peace. The headline reads, “He’d love to see you on Easter. Of course, after you’ve risen from the dead, you’re happy to see anyone.” Of a similar nature, on a huge billboard facing the highway by an enormous round evangelical church is the sign: “When Jesus returns – will you be ready?” And here you go – getting distracted by the drama.

Somehow we are supposed to go ‘out there’ and prepare for IT, conjure the ecstasy of IT

The detail and the drama all keep us focussed on something outside of ourselves. Something from ancient history. Something experienced by another people at another time. And somehow we are supposed to go ‘out there’ and prepare for IT, conjure the ecstasy of IT, just find IT – be in the right place at the right time and IT will find us! Many even feel that they must suffer emotionally, spiritually, or physically in emulation of the Crucifixion before they are worthy of IT.

Sadly, as long as we look outside of ourselves we will never, may I repeat, never find the peace beyond understanding, nor coax the gentle dove of pure and simple goodness to rest in our hearts. It truly is not seeing the forest for the trees. The meaning behind the detail and the drama. The Crucifixion isn’t about the end, of course, it is about the beginning. For us – now. But what we seem to be missing is that the Crucifixion isn’t about Jesus – it is about you and me. Instead of getting the message about ‘The Way’ we got distracted by ‘the means’.

I see eyes so deep and incisive that they penetrate my every illusion and barrier to that promised peace.

Looking at this face in the photo beside me, as I write, I don’t see someone who would look for the spectacular. The big finish. What I see are eyes so deep and incisive that they penetrate my every illusion and barrier to that promised peace. They are the eyes of pure compassion. Eyes that know that it is through painful and startling experiences that we come to know ourselves. In the ‘dying’ of the Crucifixion, we die to the judgement of others; we die to the lies we may have begun to believe about our own worth and divinity; we die to the material world as a passage to bliss; we die to the identification with our physical selves and know that our bodies will one day be cast aside like a robe in the dirt.

The morning Georgie died, I called our sons then 17 and 20 to the hospital where I had spent our last night together. Shortly after, his three daughters arrived and we spent several hours with him. We cried and hugged and stroked his face, sat on the bed and ate oranges, told stories. We were with him, but he had clearly ‘left’ us. My younger son commented, that looking at the body – even of one so loved and familiar, it is clear to see that what animated it is absolutely gone and that all that remains is the husk.

I tell you this because while we may ‘know’ we are a spiritual beings having a physical experience, we don’t realize or we don’t live as if we know that. We can set our own spirits free while in our physical bodies. We can experience, bliss, peace, health, happiness. Right here. Right now. We don’t achieve this by picking through the slim volumes of historical accounts for words to tell us what to do. We don’t achieve it by debating the ‘real’ meaning of simple words and seeking complexity.

How do we achieve peace beyond understanding? By choosing it.

How do we achieve peace beyond understanding? By choosing it. By choosing it over and over again until it becomes our default when thoughts of worry or self judgement crowd our peace. By letting go of absolutely everything that does not define our true nature. And what did Christ teach us about our true nature? That we are divine – sparks of creation from the flame of all creation in all worlds in all times – unto eternity. I’m cool with that – I just keep forgetting to remember.

You can believe me when I say I wonder at the candour of my postings over the past weeks. Why, I ask myself, am I so willing to expose my fears, my flaws, my abundant lack of poise and perfection? Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one. I post my pieces after working through a riddle of my own on paper and feel slightly embarrassed in sharing it. After all, I am known to put stock in propriety, manners, appearances and social etiquette. I like the idea of being in firm control of my destiny – but the world is slightly askew and I can’t plan for tsunamis – personal or global. Living Life barefaced like this is more than a little untidy. But today, Holy Thursday, I think I understand.

In my mind, if we embrace the meaning – the spirit – of the Crucifixion, we realize we are to follow the example of trust and surrender to perfect freedom. Here. Now. Do we have to die on a cross of our own construction to make that choice? Absolutely not! Is the path narrow? Yes – but not to make it difficult – to make it easy! The path leads to peace, beauty, health, and happiness. It is a path – not to Christ – but through Christ – or Christ Consciousness – to our own divine self. Christ is not the destination, but the means to our own destiny of our highest Self. It is a path of clear discernment. What serves you and what does not. Embrace what nourishes you and discard the rest.

When we follow the lead of our own heart’s deepest desires we are lead irrevocably to our highest Self – the fulfillment of all we have potential to offer this physical world. Are you a doctor? Teacher? Mother? Artist? Banker? Executive? Being anything but what you truly are is to wander off the path. And that leads you into the murky places of worldly judgement or the influence of unconscious sorrows. Forgive them (release them from your own judgement) because if they speak in critical judgement of others then they are out of alignment with themselves and know neither you nor themselves well enough to pass comment or to be helpful.

It is not mine to debate religions or opine on theology. Heaven knows that there have been many historic instances – myth and fact – of virgin births, resurrection from the dead, and ascension. Why get caught in the debate. Does it matter? Don’t you just want to be happy and at peace? Don’t you want to know that no matter how difficult the circumstances you face may be they are just worldly conditions that in our surmounting them become our greatest liberators? Don’t you just want to be free? Well, you already are. Choose it. Jesus left us with the words ‘Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.’ What do you think that means? Are we not the instruments of that Will? Is this Heaven yet? If we look for it we will find it right where we are.

Our own minds – our analytical thoughts, our memories of pain and suffering – are our personal crosses

Our own minds – our analytical thoughts, our memories of pain and suffering – are our personal crosses. You can hang there pinioned until you die and are freed or you can drop into your heart and be free now. Through the heart is to surrender to the infinite depth of love. Love – for yourself – as you are now; Love for this crazy world – just the way it is. It’s the only one we’ve got just now. And Love for this gorgeous planet Earth. An Eden if only we would see her. Tropical beaches, rainforest, snowy mountains, golden prairies, surging oceans, flawless skies. Animals, fruits and flowers. Butterflies. We were never cast from Eden – we looked away. Focus on the pollution and know we live in a flawed world. Focus on the beauty and know we can expand it through gentle and simple loving acts of our own divine nature.

Today, Jesus washed the feet of his disciples. An act of equality. All are children of divinity – none less or more. Tomorrow Jesus surrendered in trust and illuminated ‘The Way’ to peace on earth – seeds in our own hearts. Sunday, if we choose, we can begin to live Heaven on earth and reclaim Eden.