How do you measure success?

Yesterday I had tea with a friend who had recently had the occasion to chat with Kevin O’Leary of Dragon’s Den and Shark Tank. These are the advice bits he offered her: if you can’t articulate what your business is about in 90 seconds no one will invest in you; successful people have to be prepared to spend 18 hour days for some duration; spend your time not your money, and finally, know when to get out.

T queried me on the last point. How do you know when it’s time to call it a day; when you’ve spent enough money – when do you decide your great idea just isn’t going to fly? Of course, I had to confess that I was probably the wrong person to ask about that. I still believe in my business vision that I first diagrammed on a flip chart in my (then) web designers boardroom. That was five years ago. It showed overlapping circles (vesicas) depicting autonomous businesses collaborating to the greater good of all. The foundation of that business exists. It is the LightBeam wheel of websites. It echos a little – okay it echos a lot – because it’s waiting for the people to populate it. It’s innovative and a slightly different way to use the internet – and the internet itself is an ever changing mystery to many. More on this later.

After my afternoon meeting with T, I was off to meet my longtime friend J for dinner. As we walked around the block arm in arm over icy patches she asked about my sons – were they off on their European tour with the band this summer? Hmmm she was a little out of date. I had to explain that those plans had taken a side rail because the savvy and beautiful ‘Ms A’ promoter and manager par excellence just took a powder in the middle of the afternoon one day on the way to a meeting to discuss the imminent recording date. “Oh.” J said, “ Do you think they should do something else?” My immediate response was no! These young men are good musicians and they have a unique sound. When I envision them – I see them pressing against the membrane just about to break through.

Now – before you conclude that an innovator mother with unrealistic goals has spawned sons with unrealistic rock star aspirations, let me rush in and say this: I’m not stupid – and just like everyone else I get dragged down by ‘reality’. So on the way home – I was blue. Doubt was hanging about me like a pall. Fear comes rushing in because I am the sole supporter of my family and that scares me at times. And then – can self recrimination be far behind when I think that most parents would have ‘made’ their sons be realistic and get jobs – or go back to school?

So I stopped on my way out of town as I passed my Sweetheart’s door for a quick pick-me-up hug. “Everything is going to be okay – isn’t it?” I muffled into his shoulder. S held me at arm’s length, looked into my eyes and said, “Of course! And even if it isn’t okay – it will be okay.” Now it might seem that he was patronizing me and sending me off with a “Now. Now. There. There”, but the effect of his words ripped away the mask of ‘reality’ and I was once again looking at the meaning of life.

These reality shows are a true barometer of our times. They are a reflection of the distortion that we call life. In a way I wonder if they are the backlash of the times – most recent – when schools, parents, and sports leagues all decided that competition was somehow unfair. That failure discriminated unfairly, that success must be equilateral or shared. These shows are based on humiliation of the many and the aggrandizing of the one. The ‘one’ has to fit a very specific criteria and the ‘win’ is not based on excellence but in compliance.

It is the archetype of the worst father who beats or disinherits his child if they do not comply with the family way of excellence. It is social coercion at its most nihilistic. Fit the mold – or die in humiliation!

I’d be bleeding all over the stage if I presented my innovative business model on Dragon’s Den. My heart would be pounding to the clock ticking ninety seconds. BEEEEEEP! Times up – you’re fired! Oh – wrong show. My business is about holistic living. Body, mind and spirit and these dudes are so out of harmony with the natural and pleasurable aspects of life that they probably wouldn’t get my concept if I drew a thirty second Venn diagram. Its helpful to be able to sum up your business in a few phrases, but Life as reflected in our business is more than a few sound bites. And here’s why:

Our real business is not what we do for a living. It’s not what we exchange for money. Our real business is our own life – in all its complexity, troubles and pleasures. Our family, our work, our engagement with the world we live in is the playing field where we discover who we are. Our talents, our strengths, our weaknesses, our desires and our dreams and most of all our contribution to the evolution of this world. We are not here just to put in time as people – a general population – but as contributing energy to the direction the world will take – ‘good’ or ‘bad’.

When we focus too much on success for success’s sake we rush to results before we look to effects. When I was in the construction industry, it became evident through the nature of building how the culture of a region or country viewed their responsibility or accountability to the future. Our business was architectural entranceways. The banks of doors – including revolving or security doors for banks, hotels and condominiums. They were grand – you never get a second chance to make a first impression – in polished bronze or mirror stainless steel. Here’s a thumbnail of different perspectives- in very general terms:

The west coast – Canada and US had a ‘disposable’ perspective. They would not invest in a high quality because the architectural landscape – trends – changed so often that buildings would go up with a lifespan in mind. The emphasis was on glamour, flash and price. Some of these buildings are notorious – high profile with paper thin walls. Big hype for quick sales – high class, low fees – only to find in the fullness of time that the shortcuts taken in construction are in short order catching up with owners in gargantuan fee increases.

New York, Chicago, Toronto, London, cities of banks and investors chose elegant and stately designs and considered the front entrance as a cost percentage of the overall value of the property. The architect has a greater influence on quality products and consistency of durability than on the coasts where design built is more initial profit oriented.

Interestingly, in Asia companies we dealt with spoke in terms of generations (that’s about people). One company was over five hundred years old! The responsibility to the future was a guiding principle. Every aspect of a building was efficient, beautiful and resilient – constructed to last and be a tribute to those who created it.

When we create our own life – what are we placing in value? What is our unique contribution? What is our legacy. How are we accountable and how do we leave the world a better place?

My sons are musicians – that is what they are. So many ‘advise’ them and me that you really can’t make it in the music business – it’s a long shot to be a star. Maybe, some suggest, they should go on Canadian Idol. Now this is for sure – you can’t make it in the music business if you don’t make music your business. Since the disappearance of Ms A, the band has discovered that they really don’t need her. They have developed a business plan, designed the logo, nearly done the MySpace page – written an album worth of original music, are mastering a demo tape, created a ‘merch’ list – the T shirts are already in and selling like mad. In fact my youngest can claim – been there, done that – got the tat! The thing is the world of music – and everything else has become so sophisticated that an artist is expected to have the complete package that in the past a record label would provide.

In my mind, this change is for the better. My sons have strengthened in experience and competence in ways that a ‘real’ education couldn’t begin to offer. Secondly, they have by necessity and disappointment become knowledgeable and savvy developing traits that will stand them in strength in a business that is notorious for manipulation and exploitation. They have learned the value of creativity – in their case, music – to heal from loss and grief. They have, as brothers, come to ways of collaborating to use the best of each one’s talents – musically and business wise. They work with the two other musician members with a maturity, discipline and diplomacy that would do well in the largest corporation

So, as a mother, I am incredibly proud of their work, their accomplishments and the fact that they haven’t ‘made it’ yet is almost inconsequential to the point of who they have become and the stability they have gained that will help them ride the crazy world of excesses everyone loves to hate in that world!

As to me – my lack of ’success’ as reflected in my present bank account and credit rating – doesn’t begin to disclose my own path of fine tuning, learning, growing, resiliency, and courage. Yes, I can say that about myself – even though I was taught not to take too much credit for myself. These past five years included the illness and death of my husband, the embezzlement and fraud by my web design company, the erosion of all my capital, and realization that the world was not quite ready for what I offered.

My belief in the LightBeam vision kept me sane through the devastating grief of losing my husband and business partner and the dad of our two, still young, boys who adored him. In desperation I began to take courses on websites and internet marketing – just so I couldn’t be duped by my nefarious web designers. What started out as the fury and fear of walking away from tens of thousands of dollars in web design that never worked turned into my own competence and understanding of open source software platforms; out sourcing; internet marketing and the nature of the internet in general. Collaboration in the highest terms – by strangers for strangers! For free! Awesome!

Dreams are the vision of all that is possible. Without dreams there are no realities. Dreams hold us steady while all that is in the chaos of creation sorts itself. Like an epic voyage my adventure in fulfilling my vision has led me on a circuitous route to the centre of my own being. Opportunities are unfolding that I dreamed of years ago that are now coming forth because all the elements for real success had to evolve until the timing was right. And that time is now.

Eighteen hour days? Oh yeahhh. But when you are doing what you love they are not eighteen hour days of slugging or slavery when you work for someone else’s dream. They are inspired and inspiring days that often run into nights. Dreams can wake you up to most amazing solutions to a nagging problem. Often a solution that defies logic – and often a solution that you could never get from someone else’s opinion.

Spend you time not your money. I had to nearly exhaust my capital before I figured out that self proclaimed experts were rarely that. Especially in the internet world which changes in every heart beat. Being a trusting nature and deferring to an authority leads an entrepreneur on the downhill spiral of “an innocent and his money are soon parted!” Take the time to learn what your business connects to and relies on so that you can spot a scammer!

How do I measure success? I am happy, confident in my own abilities and have something to make the world a brighter place. I have gained knowledge and wisdom. When will I be rich? I am enriched in self-love and self-respect – can I ever be poor? Even if it’s not okay (by whatever standards I might set) it will be okay – it will be more of my own beautiful life unfolding! When do you give up on yourself? Never!

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How a simple reversal of perspective will give you the life you desire.

But first I have to share a word with you that is so significant to our health and happiness it is the only key to our personal joy and to the flourishing of the Earth and the Universe she rests in. So mystical is this word that it frightens us and wakes us in the night and causes war among brothers. So magical a word that when we say it with understanding we are liberated from all fears – forever. This word represents a gift of creation so powerful that it rivals the miracle of our birth. And that word is DEATH.

Birth and death are the parenthesis of our life on earth. And what transpires within those brackets – into the world and out – is our life. Life can be short and meaningful as a Japanese Haiku or fraught with the drama of a Greek Tragedy in multiple acts. Because we fear death more than revere it, we live our lives as if we might somehow avoid it altogether. Illness, accident or old age – the vehicles of death always seem to take us by surprise – as some sort of mistake in judgement or wrong turn. If only she hadn’t smoked, if only he had made a full stop, if only she had taken her vitamins. Death is, at once, the ultimate certainty and the ultimate mystery.

The fact is that as surely as you are reading this you were born and as surely as you were born you will die – sooner or later. The journey to that final door marked death is your true life purpose. Forget ‘What is my life purpose?’ You are living it even as you search. Forget, ‘When I have my own apartment, car, million, Cessna I’ll be okay. Forget, ‘When my children are grown, when I have enough money, when I retire, I will paint, write, garden. Replace the word ‘then’ with the word ‘now’. Take a deep breath. Exhale out loud and listen to that exhalation. That is you breathing. That is you alive.

When the stork dropped you, he dropped you with a sack of goodies. Rudimentary supplies to get you started. Girl, boy, black, white yellow. The soul of a poet, the mind of a mathematician. It is an intriguing mix of potentialities. Your mother’s eyes, your father’s walk – immediate stuff. But you also have a blend of their blend. Going back just two hundred years or ten generations to 1811, one thousand and twenty four people had to have intimate encounters for you to be here now. If you multiply 1,024 by the number of genes – both latent and dominant then you have a staggering complexity of possibilities in your makeup. To follow your line back to the beginning of time – well, you have to think in terms of stars and galaxies to grasp the limitless possibilities.

But that’s not all! Your baby sack got dropped into a garden, concrete jungle or war zone. And your family either thought it was a good thing or not a good thing that you were born and they cried, smiled or cussed the day you were born. Now imagine rising up at lightening speed above your crib until you are amongst the stars looking down and see all the living beings on the planet – nearly 7 billion – and how their thoughts and actions tilt the world mood and outcome like a teeter totter between Nirvana and Armageddon. Now you have a sense – kinda – of the potential influence of heredity and environment.

But heredity and environment is only what is in your bag. It is not YOU. Your body is the physical draping around the spark of Life that is your pure potential. The oak within the acorn. Your brain is the recorder and processor of information and your conscious mind – awareness – is your connection with all of Life. Consciousness is not a connection in the sense of a thread or umbilical attachment, but rather like cupping your hands under the water of the ocean. Your body is the physical envelope if you will, but the whole of the creative Life force fills you and surrounds you and ebbs and flows. It is in you and all around you at the same time. It is in you and every other person, mineral, plant or planet.

Your life began with a choice and is continually micro directed by every subsequent choice. The first choice was not the obvious one of ‘him’ and ‘her’ or all siblings would be identical. The first choice that defined you was this sperm and that egg. Now depending on how quickly you individuated and made your own conscious choices the sooner you took charge and shaped life according to your deepest desires. You might have been allowed to pair orange and purple as matched socks when you were little or your mother still picked out your shirt and tie for your first job interview. Whichever the case, your heart’s desires were either expressed or repressed.

If you have had a difficult life or are enduring a patch you don’t like, you might complain that you didn’t choose to be born. No person in their ‘right mind’ would choose to be born to a drug addict mother or some other unfortunate circumstance, but your mind didn’t do the choosing. In its desire for evolution and creation, Life chose to be born through you. The difference between an animal or rock and a human being is that the creative Life force called Nature continues to make the choices. You, the human being, on the other hand, have awareness that you are conscious and so have the will to move with and express Nature through your choices and actions or override and repress Nature.

So what does that have to do with your mixed bag of heredity and environment and your eventual death? And what does this all have to do with health and happiness? Well, only this – everything. It really may seem with all the infinite possibilities in your makeup, that finding a thread and being solely responsible for creating your life tapestry might seem too complex. There are just too many outside influences and responsibilities and on top of all that the world is in chaos. What can you really do? You can’t change the world chaos any more than you can hold back the tides or stop the Earth in its orbit. And if you believed you could – how would you manage those choices?

It is actually sublimely simple: What do you desire? The energy of Life starts within and works outward. The oak is already in the acorn. When the acorn falls on the forest floor and takes root, all its energetic focus is on being what it is. An Oak. It reaches into the soil for nourishment and water. It reaches skyward toward the life giving light of the sun. It takes up the space in the earth, in the forest, in the air to fulfill its wholeness. Lichen on the rock beside it, or a tiny plant of wintergreen sprouting waxy leaves and red berries fulfills the ’self’ same mandate of all that it can be. There is no competition or desire to be other than it is. Each has its own space and influence on the whole of its environment.

As human beings, our ‘oak’ of Self – actualized is within us and requires our conscious participation – our free will. We choose how we root into the soil of our physical environment. How we create and share in the abundance that surrounds us in our community, and ultimately how we influence the world we live in. As humans we are born with basic propensities within a environmental context. Infinite possibilities. How we play it out is entirely up to us. Pleasure or pain – joy or sorrow. Only in following the inner wisdom of our heart’s true desires will we know how to ride either/or on the buoyancy of good life well lived!

When we lay our head down on the pillow for the last time, not even then knowing exactly when we will exhale for the last time, what will be running through our mind as important? The thing is: as we look at the infinite odds that conspired in our unique blend of genes to become us – the microcosm – and then look up to the night sky and imagine those trillions of stars and galaxies – the macrocosm – we glimpse the actual significance of our personal life role in the scheme of the whole of the universe for all time. The only thing that matters is what our life meant to us.

Do you love? Are you loved? Are you fulfilled? If your name is called tomorrow – are you ready to let go? Up until that last breath will you have been all that you might be – and know the blessing that you are?

Please follow me on twitter for upcoming posts on my experience with various therapies and other thoughts on Life.

If you want to enjoy optimum health and wellness – please join LightBeam Community.

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To be a Master of Life we must first know ourselves.

In esoteric teaching enlightenment is a goal attained. In my experience, mastery is like the horizon – always ahead of us as we gain new ground. However practical enlightenment is navigating this world of chaos and distraction armed with the map of our authentic Self.

Our true opportunity between birth and death – our first inhale and our last exhale – is to fulfill all that we might be. We are born with our unique blend of talents and traits, into a world of infinite flux and possibility. How do we reveal what is within us to attain the ultimate goal of Self –actualized?

Enlightenment is simply the process of lightening up. Dropping all that we carry that is not the true expression of our authenticity. Practical enlightenment, then, is the process of revealing that authentic self. Our personal passions and heart desires lead us there. Life then becomes the expression of these values in work and relationship.

Join me as we explore in personal anecdote and grow in self awareness. As we integrate skills we come to rely on our inner guidance and are less buffeted by the challenges of life. Difficulties become as welcome as pleasures in our self revelation. We become our own competent and trusted navigator.

No one can know you better than you know yourself. When it comes to expressing your authentic Self – You are the expert!

Please join me on SelfGrowth.Com

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How to reclaim your heart.

(Part three of three)

The dragon must die but to vanquish it, it must be lured from the cave into the light. All this drama of heroes, damsels, dragons, heart, and self, courage, and fear is the stuff our our daily life on Earth. Applying the archetypes only facilitates in understanding the active energy of these forces as they motivate or limit us from within, and as they attract external circumstances and relationships to perpetuate and feed the momentum of self deception – the dragon.

We can all relate to the interplay of these forces in our personal evolution. Whether we are born onto the sunny coast of California or the broken streets of Beirut, our personal story unfolds and undulates in response to internal and external influences. We are reactive or proactive and as we strengthen within the forces without are mitigated. So the dragon we slay is the force of limitation on our personal evolution. And what exactly are we limiting? What is our personal evolution? And how does that impact on the world we live in?

My own learning began with a quest. It was a quest to avoid pain and suffering and to live without fear. I wasn’t even thinking in terms of happiness, creativity and personal fulfillment in those days. I just wanted to come up to a base line. The actual circumstances are immaterial, as the relevance lies only in the cumulative affect on my psyche and the ultimate claim for release. I did not want to be another statistic in my family of depression or suicide or penitent to a moralistic belief. And I certainly didn’t want that kind of influence on the children I was bringing into this turbulent world.

Consequently, I have been a passionate student of all ways of healing. Spiritual, energetic, nutritional, physical and intellectual. My own search for answers and the subsequent trip of healing, through tragedy, betrayal and disillusionment into lightness, comprehension, and reverence is the foundation of my vision of LightBeam and all aspects of my life work and contribution.

I was a seeker for many years until I began to study the ancient teachings of Patanjali and the Bhagavad Gita. They were very obscure to me and my Western mind had great trouble in interpreting the texts. However, my most beloved teacher, Gita, assured us that if we followed the lessons in our own time and did not rush, understanding would come. She also made a very portentous observation. She said, “Just be aware that when you study sacred texts, your life will draw in the circumstances to illustrate the lessons.”

That has been absolutely true and the way – though rough – has been resplendent with growing awareness for the subtle and sublime Life force that imbues every creature, rock and star in this wide universe. The more my understanding expanded, the less division there was in this way or that way. This doctrine or that dogma. Life began to express itself in a sense of extreme individuality and uniqueness – no two snowflakes alike – and at the same time, the amazing unity and interdependence of all living systems – molecules or galaxies. I found confidence in my own voice humming my tune and delight in the collective voice of all who wished to sing along with me.

I began to use the mantra, “I create the world I want to live in and it is populated with people I love and respect.” This is indeed unfolding and that world is pretty small but it is vibrant and full of colour, laughter, friendship, creativity and accomplishment. I’ve lost my way a few times, but as I described in The Dragon Dies and Dragon’s Teeth, those missteps become more quickly evident and corrected to bring me back to peace and confidence.

In this world of instant everything, we tend to believe that we can read a book, take a course, visualize or will a state into existence. We can most certainly be transformed by any of these. But the act of personal evolution is a lifetime of awakenings and glimpses of all that we can be. We then experience this awareness on all levels – body, mind, emotion, soul and then anchor it into our consciousness. It is in this deep integration of healing on all levels that we truly effect the the world we live in.

Our life purpose is to fulfill our own soul destiny. In this way we are truly co-contributors of Life’s evolution. We are the very cells of Life’s creative body. As we take in information, process it and express it in our daily lives, we construct a world of deeper understanding, interdependence and interconnectedness. We are manifestations of the Nature and the natural order of Life as surely as the trees and galaxies. The difference – as far as we know at this moment in time, is that we are conscious and can exert our conscious will over our actions and processes.

While the natural world expands and evolves, ebbs and flows, rises and falls on an ever undulating course, we conscious beings effect the expanding consciousness of the world. The collective emotion; the evolution of happiness over despair, peace over war, care over abuse. It is not difficult to see that the world is in chaos. There is starvation, torture, war, decimation, pollution, greed, anguish, suffering. The dragon of our collective unconsciousness is wreaking havoc. It’s is breathing poison into our water, ash into our air, starving our children, and singeing all our necks with the terror of uncertainty.

There is so much that people should be doing, could be doing to shift all this. Global prayer vigils, exhortations to God, blogs by the trillions, political and social activism. But all this activity – passive and aggressive – misses the whole point. The dragon grows in strength and power, not because we are focussing our attention and giving it energy, but because the dragon in our outer world is only the distraction for the dragon within us. The little dragon that would be safe stays safe because we ignore it to focus on the wrongs of the outer world. As long as we stay focussed on the evil, greedy conniving ‘bastards’ of the – name it – banks, pharmaceutical companies, governments, fishing fleets, fur traders, de foresters, munitions producers, we are neatly caught in the net of self delusion.

In turn, the collective consciousness is displayed in the world around us. I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t like to live somewhere beautiful – a beach, the mountains, surrounded by love, and enjoying creative peace and serenity. We look at the world and wonder who made this mess? Clearly it is not our choice but here it is. The dragon of war, pollution, genocide, disease and poverty feeds on our collective delusion, our collective collusion to blame others, and it gets fat on our collective doubt and uncertainty.

In the acorn is the entire imprint for the oak. Given the basic conditions of clean water, fresh air, and nutrients from the Earth, the oak will flourish. Within the acorn is all the oak can potentially achieve. Drought and lightning may alter its shape, but within it remains all it might be. Likewise within us is all that we might be. If we are to be a musician, we will hear or see music and be drawn to its expression. Being human, our expression of our complete potential is not only effected by environment conditions, but also by conditions of consciousness.

As Life’s expression of conscious evolution, we are given the added ingredient of will. We don’t automatically evolve to the highest expression of our personal self. We must choose to fulfill our highest potential. Enter the dragon. The dragon is all that is not true about us. Before it outgrows the boundaries of our soul and leaps into the arena of the collective conscious, it feeds and gets powerful on self doubt. And how are we relieved of self doubt? By calling it out and looking it right in the eye. When we have the courage to face our fears – and sometimes we need help – we will see that they are not based on fact, but on false beliefs which have grown out of control and choke our potential for a creative, healthy and prosperous life.

Peace and love are our natural state of being, they are the stuff of our heart’s desire. They are always there – within. Sometimes deep in the cave – behind the fearsome dragon. Call the dragon out, see the lies in its eyes of what you believe about yourself that is not true and then raise the daggers of all your talents, gifts, and goodness of who you really are and slay it now. Each time the voice within you breathes the fire of doubt, shame, guilt, unworthiness face it down with another truth. Keep doing it until the dragon is silent. Then – puff! The dragon becomes magical and when it rises – and it will – it will be your ally – your reminder of who you really are!

When your heart is finally free from bondage, peace and love will fill you to overflowing and then the pulse of the world will change at last.

Please follow me on twitter for upcoming posts on my experience with various therapies and other thoughts on Life.

If you want to enjoy optimum health and wellness – please join LightBeam Community.

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